Emotional Regulation Skills: The Key to Relationship Satisfaction

One of the key elements in maintaining healthy relationships in your life is emotional regulation. Emotional regulation is the ability to recognize and manage your emotions in a way that is helpful, not harmful, to your interpersonal relationships. Of course, the first thing about developing emotional regulation skills is becoming aware of your own internal state. If you are aware of your emotions and what triggers them, you are on your way to being able to manage them and express them appropriately.

Emotional regulation in relationships results in constructive communication, effective conflict resolution, and enhanced intimacy. While it certainly takes time to work on healthy emotional regulation, these skills are life-long and well worth the effort.

What are the Relationship Benefits of Emotional Regulation?

When you become aware of the role emotions play in your interactions with others, you’ll find that you will build more enjoyable relationships. You will see improvement in a variety of areas.

Empathy: When you use emotional regulation strategies, you become more empathetic to others and can see a variety of perspectives. You can drop the “my way or the highway” philosophy and, on the other side of the coin, compassionately set healthy boundaries.

Communication: Being able to manage emotions means communicating calmly and clearly. When you are in conflict, you can become dysregulated and impulsive, which can be harmful to important relationships in your life. With emotional regulation skills, couples can work through issues patiently and respectfully.

Relationship satisfaction: When you feel that you can better understand your partner and that they understand you, you are much more likely to feel satisfaction in the relationship. Misunderstandings that tend to weigh down and damage the relationship become less frequent and a sense of intimacy and trust increases.

How Can I Develop Emotional Regulation Skills?

Practicing Mindfulness: Mindfulness requires you to stay in the moment and to be nonjudgmentally aware of your thoughts and emotions. These practices help you understand your internal states and triggers and manage them effectively. There are a variety of activities that promote mindfulness such as yoga and meditation, just to name two.

Using Validating Statements: When you validate your partner, you are showing them that their thoughts, feelings and need are important to you. You demonstrate that you are invested in their happiness. Many times, being happy in the relationship should take priority over being right.

Couples Therapy: It can be incredibly insightful to attend couples therapy. A trained counsellor will guide you to communicate clearly and effectively in a safe, compassionate space. There, you can learn emotional regulation skills, problem solving and conflict resolution strategies that will impact your relationships for life.

Lynn Valley Counselling is an integrated counselling clinic that provides couples counselling in an empowering, safe environment. If you’d like to learn about how to improve your emotional regulation skills and transform your relationships, reach out for a consultation today.